INTRODUCTION
It was a surreal moment when I made the decision to undergo weight loss surgery. If you had asked me a year ago if this was an option, I would have laughed so hard for three distinct reasons: I had never contemplated weight loss surgery because I believed it was only for the morbidly overweight and I did not believe I didn't think I fell into this category. Secondly, I was aware that the NHS has very strict criteria for referring patients for weight loss surgery, I also didn't think I met their criteria, my underlying condition was not life-threatening although debilitatingly. Thirdly, I have witnessed the stigmatization of weight loss surgery in our society and didn't want to be placed in the slothful and lazy category. I have participated in several weight loss programs and even lost a few pounds, only to gain them all back. It was a catch-22 situation for me, please see my other blogs for a personal story of my journey.
Before deciding to undergo weight loss surgery, I conducted more than a year of research and needed to inform my family, beginning with my spouse. I was apprehensive because I did not know how he would react. His initial reaction was extremely mixed, but he has seen me struggle with my condition and was willing to support me. However, as anticipated, he had a great deal of questions to which I largely lacked answers despite my research. I discovered a bariatric Facebook group during my research and learned a great deal from people sharing their experiences, challenges, and victories and supporting one another, so I suggested that my spouse join the group so that we can learn together. He did and I must say the rest of the story. He still had doubts and concerns, and to be fair, so did I. However, he was willing to stand by me and has supported me throughout the process and to the present day. I took the same approach with both of my sisters, informing them of my intentions and directing them to articles, literature, podcasts, and books that would answer their questions. Additionally, I encouraged them to join the Facebook group, which they ultimately did.
This provided my family with insight into the world of bariatric surgery and ways in which they can assist me on my voyage. If you are a bariatric patient reading this blog, I recommend that you send a link to this article to your loved ones so that they can support you on your journey to a healthier you! If you intend to embark on this journey, you may also wish to retain a copy for future reference or as a conversation starter with your family.
Supporting a loved one through bariatric surgery is not only a duty but a discipline that can have a profound effect on the patient's recovery and mental health.
What to Anticipate - The Emotional Impact
When it comes to bariatric surgery, the majority of the attention is frequently focused on the physical transformations, including before-and-after photos, diet plans, and exercise regimens. However, what about the emotional terrain? If this journey were a Hollywood blockbuster, the emotional rollercoaster would be the riveting subplot that elevates the narrative to Oscar-worthy status. It's not just the patient who experiences this emotional roller coaster. Family members must also wear their seatbelts. Every emotional high and low they experience reverberates within your own consciousness. You experience anxiety, while they feel anxiety. They experience elation, while you feel optimism. This interconnectedness is not something to fear; rather, it affords you a rare opportunity to serve as an emotional pillar in their voyage through life-altering events.
The High Points of the Roller Coaster
Once the decision to undergo bariatric surgery has been made, it is not unusual for everyone to experience elation. There is hope in the air. The whole family might start envisioning a healthier existence, dreaming of active vacations and wardrobes devoid of "plus sizes." Cherish these moments, but also use them to establish a positive energy reserve. You'll need it when the voyage begins to decline.
However, it will not always be a thrilling experience. There will be anxieties regarding the surgery, dietary restrictions, and possibly even resentment or self-doubt. It is imperative that you, as a family member, do more than offer a shoulder to weep on during these times. Validate their emotions; do not disregard them. A simple, "It's okay to be scared; I will be too," can go a long way.
Suggestions on How to Be an Emotional Support System
Sometimes, your physical presence—simply seated silently next to someone—speaks louder than any motivational quote.
Do not immediately offer solutions, offer criticism, or promote optimism. Simply listen, acknowledge, and provide hugs.
Share your own concerns and aspirations. This can strengthen your emotional connection.
Encourage Professional Assistance: While family is essential, the perspective of a trained psychologist can sometimes provide invaluable coping mechanisms.
Celebrate Minor Victories: A week of effective adherence to a pre-surgery diet plan merits a mini-celebration. Encourage optimism!
So, here's a hint: Don't discount the significance of emotional support. If you've been holding back, now is the time to become the emotional anchor your loved one requires. Establish channels of communication. Openly express your emotions and encourage others to do the same. Yes, it is unpleasant. Yes, it is difficult. However, keep in mind that emotional support is what gives your loved one depth and significance. Instead of avoiding it, embrace it.
Instead of relying on your memory, create a roster!
Look, we all assume we'll remember everything, but stress has a way of turning our brains into mush. So why take the risk? Create a checklist or set your phone's reminders. You may desire to write it on a piece of paper and stick it to the refrigerator. Regardless of your strategy, you must be prepared for D-Day. Bariatric Journal-Journey to a Healthy Self which has ample space for a checklist and more; you might want to check it out on Amazon.
The big day of bariatric surgery is a family affair, and not just in terms of physical presence; emotional and logistical support transforms a frightening experience into a shared voyage. Make this day less about "what-ifs" and more about "we've-got-this" by making an itinerary and setting reminders.
More Than Just a Snack: How to Prepare for Their Hospital Stay
Often, the day of surgery is filled with anticipation, tension, and a quiet optimism that everything will go well. Here are some tips for ensuring that your family plays an Oscar-worthy supporting role.
As they are not embarking on a typical outing, assist them with packing prudently. Bring identification, insurance information, and medical records, as well as a credit or debit card, to cover hospitalization-related expenses. Consider comfort items for both you and the patient, such as a good book, a warm blanket, or even a handheld game, to help pass the time. Never neglect the importance of personal touches. A family photograph, a handwritten note, or even a small trinket can mean the world to a surgical patient. It is a physical reminder that they are not alone; their tribe is present, if not physically, in spirit. DOWNLOAD OUR FREE PDF Hospital Stay Checklist for Bariatric Patients
Stay Informed and Present Upon Their Awakening: Communication Is Crucial
The waiting room can feel like an eternity, and the silence is anxiety-inducing. Create a daily communication strategy. Appoint a point person to receive updates from the surgical team and relay them to the rest of the family, whether through a group chat or a succession of quick phone calls. The patient then awakens, which is a truly miraculous moment. It resembles the first rays of dawn after a lengthy night of darkness. Your presence at that moment is priceless; it is the first tether to reality as the patient navigates the haze of anaesthesia. Hold their hand, give them a reassuring expression, and remind them that they've just reached a major milestone.
The Recuperation Phase - Too Much to Bear
The operation was successful, folks! The curtain descends and the audience applauds, but the performance is not yet over. If surgery was the season finale, then the recuperation period is the eagerly anticipated sequel. In this season, however, the hospital is replaced by the residence.
Post-Operative Diet: Beyond Soup and Salad
While you may be compelled to celebrate with a feast after surgery, keep in mind that your stomach is not yet ready for a party. Portion control becomes the new fad, and soft, easily digestible foods become your best companions. Now is the time for culinary innovation. Can a protein drink be made to taste like a gourmet dessert? The challenge is welcomed! Consider creating meals that are both emotionally and nutritionally gratifying. You may wish to obtain my free ebook, Ideas for Bariatric Meals in the Initial Three Months After Surgery.
The Physical Activity: Baby Steps
No longer is "recovery" synonymous with daylong rest in bed. Even a leisurely stroll around the block qualifies as controlled, moderate exercise. How can you assist? Be the cheerleader, walking companion, or human playlist blaring motivational music. Each step your loved one takes is a step away from their old existence and towards a new, healthier self.
Emotional Support: The Invisible Supporting Column
The path to rehabilitation can be solitary. Your loved one may struggle with body image, food addictions, or unmanageable expectations. What is your function here? Consider yourself the Guardian of Positive Energies. Your contagious enthusiasm is their emotional sunlight on gloomy days. Remind them why they took this courageous step in the first place, and celebrate even the smallest victories.
Collaboration makes the dream possible.
If you are reading this, it is likely that you are not the only carer present. Why would you keep this helpful instruction to yourself? Share this post with relatives, partners, and even close acquaintances. Let us all sing from the same hymnal.
Recovery is not a solo act; it is a choir, a harmony, and a joint effort. Everyone must know their role for this tune to be melodic. Share the link to this post and let's get everyone on the same page to make this phase of your loved one's recuperation a journey towards a happier, healthier life.
The Game Plan
The recovery phase is now complete. Hugs and high-fives for everyone, right? However, the journey does not conclude here; this is a lifetime commitment, and who better than you to be their eternal cheerleader?
The immediate obstacles have been overcome, but emotional obstacles can arise at any time, such as the anniversary of the surgery, reaching a plateau, or confronting old food triggers. This is when your loved one needs a confidant, a shoulder, and occasionally a dose of reality. You are not only the initial responder in times of crisis; you are also the ever-vigilant lifeguard. Be the one to remind them of how far they have come, particularly if they are fixated on how far they still have to go.
Long-term physical support does not consist solely of enrolling in a Zumba class together, though that is a fun concept! It is about making health-conscious decisions a family affair, whether it be weekend takeout, Sunday meal planning or a no-junk-food pact. Your dedication to their new lifestyle will encourage them to maintain it. Just as you wouldn't allow a plant to wither after its first bloom, you cannot allow your loved one's improved health to deteriorate.
Your consistent emotional and physical support creates a safety net that enables your loved one to take bolder steps on their health journey, thereby increasing their likelihood of maintaining their new lifestyle. You are not just investing time and affection; you are actively contributing to their well-being, thereby enhancing not only the content but also the duration of their life.
If you remain unconvinced of your long-term role, please explain. Consider it this way: They volunteered for a permanent change; shouldn't your support be equally permanent? The weight-loss voyage is a marathon, not a sprint, so it is time to commit to being their lifelong supporter if you have been nodding your head along the entire time. Your loved one may have reached several milestones, but the road ahead is lengthy and filled with its own obstacles, victories, and sometimes failures; therefore, they will need your unwavering support to maintain momentum. I hope you are game!
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Until next time, live fierce and fabulous!
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